b l o o m
Is it possible to fall more and more in love with someone everyday?
I remember we were in our bed, sitting across from each other in the evening light, our disco lamp cascading rainbows all over the lavender walls in my room and my messy blue hair everywhere from laying lazily in bed all day with him. He was still looking at me as if I was the most beautiful thing that he’s ever seen, despite the hair I was sporting and his shirt that I crumpled up around my body in my sleep.
I leaned forward into him and I remember being in total awe just staring at him. My heart felt like exploding with all the love I have for him. I grinned like a total idiot and I wrapped my arms around his waist,
“This is the first time I’ve felt truly happy in years…I’ve never been this happy in my entire life. I am so fucking happy with you.”
I don’t think I’ve ever said or felt I was truly happy in my entire twenty-two years in this world. That has to mean something.
Everyday, we learn new things about each other and we learn new things together, growing together as a couple. Of course, there will be the really bad days where we can’t stand each other, but nothing good ever comes easy. That would be utter bullshit. But, you have to remember, a relationship shouldn’t always be bad. There has to be a balance and it may be hard to achieve, however, you will find it one day. Trust me. Him and I haven’t experienced the easiest of beginnings, but we definitely fought hard enough to make this work and make each other fall in love with one another even more, if that was even humanly possible between us. And now love with him feels so effortless, unconditional, freeing, raw, and unwavering.
It’s good if love is sometimes complicated, daunting, intense, and challenging because that’s how you learn to find the good in everything and to grow together. It shows that you have to try and work hard at something and not give up just because you already have it in your grasps. You have to learn how to put down your pride, apologize, and realize that you really do love each other and that you have differences, and that it’s okay.
Him and I are complete opposites but our souls resonate so well with one another, almost as if our paths were made to intertwine together in this universe. Him and his endearing soul make me so, so damn happy. I love what we have because what we have is something different, something so debilitating that I can’t help but smile when I think of this idiot.
Every night, I find myself snuggled into his chest and fighting away sleep just to ramble about my stupid train of thoughts with him, but eventually, I would fall asleep to the soothing rhythm of his heart beating like a pendulum, swinging back and forth to the beautiful ballad that he only played for me, and dream of the rest of our lives together.
I’ve never been so in love with anyone in my life. I am so fucking lucky and so fucking happy to have him.
And I am so damn lucky to be his fiancée.